Going to an event without hating your life

If you’re reading this, there’s a good chance you’re:

• attending an event soon
• already a bit tired just thinking about it
• hoping this one might actually be worth the effort

Whether it’s a conference, a community meet-up, a networking night, or a dating event, the feeling is often the same.

Good news: you don’t need to become louder, more confident, or better at small talk.

You just need a different approach.

First, a reframe that changes everything

You don’t hate events.

You hate bad event design and unclear social rules.

Most events unintentionally reward:

• hovering
• interrupting
• pitching yourself
• collecting contacts you’ll never speak to again

That’s not a personality flaw.
That’s a system problem.

The Wing People rule: one good connection is enough

You do not need to:

• meet everyone
• work the room
• stay for the whole thing
• justify why you’re there

Your only goal is this:

Leave having had one conversation that made you glad you came.

Anything beyond that is a bonus.

This applies to business events and dating events equally.

Before you go (five minutes that help a lot)

Ask yourself one simple question:

“Who would I genuinely enjoy talking to here?”

Not:

• who should I impress
• who looks important
• who might be useful

Enjoyment is an underrated filter.
It leads to better conversations and better outcomes.

If you don’t know who’s attending, that’s fine.
Your intention can simply be:

“One calm, human interaction.”

When you arrive (these are all allowed)

You are allowed to:

• arrive early or late
• take a lap before engaging
• stand near food
• step outside for air
• leave early

None of these mean you’re bad at events.
They mean you’re self-aware.

How to start a conversation (without small talk gymnastics)

You don’t need a clever opener.

Try one of these instead:

• “How are you finding this so far?”
• “What brought you here?”
• “What were you hoping to get out of today?”

If it flows, great.
If it doesn’t, you’re allowed to let it end.

How to leave a conversation (this is important)

This is the part no one teaches.

You can say:

• “I’m really glad we chatted. I’m going to grab a drink and reset.”
• “I’m going to go see who else I should meet, but thank you.”
• “I don’t want to keep you, but this was lovely.”

Leaving a conversation is not rude.
Forcing one to continue usually is.

After the event (do less than you think)

You do not need to:

• follow up with everyone
• write perfect messages
• turn the event into a productivity exercise

If there is one person you’d like to speak to again:

• send a short message
• reference something specific
• keep it human

That’s how real connections grow.

If events still feel hard

That doesn’t mean you’re bad at them.

It often means:

• you don’t want to attend alone
• you’d benefit from warm introductions
• or you need help bridging conversations

That’s exactly why Wing People exist.

One last thing

You don’t have to perform at events.

You’re allowed to:

• be quiet
• be selective
• be awkward
• be yourself

Connection works better when you stop performing and start relating.

If you ever want help navigating an event, feeling less alone in the room, or being introduced to the right people, you’re welcome to contact us.

No pressure.
Just humans helping humans. 🪽

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